Why they invinted Xanax

Ok so my bestest pals said I was obligated to tell the world about my Tuesday. Can't really say that anything just totally amazing happened, such as winning all paid trip (for one) to some fabulous secluded island w/ all the alcohol (I mean fruity cocktails w/ umbrellas) that I could drink. Instead my day went something like this:

So wake up call (so to speak) regarding labor patient. Confusion set in when I was told the doctor (aka The Wizard) was handling, but wanted the nurse to call me anyway. Ok?. So finished getting ready for my day. No big thing. Kids going 2 hrs late and plowboy was in charge of that. Again day semi normal.

Hit the hospital at 8am (my usual time, no reason to even act like I can do it any earlier). So check on patient in labor that Wizard was in charge of. Well they are in full swing and I get to jump in and help (my specialty, so superhero). Well we push, pull, then the Wizard drags it out and I catch. Wizard goes on with the day and I finish the cleanup job. Still day semi normal.

Then I check on my labor patient. Not progressing fast. Thought to self was that I have appointment w/ catdog and inlaws about 3pm and I am not going to get to deliver this baby. The Wizard already in the know, but I was keeping fingers crossed (I did want to deliver her baby, so first patient that I was going to have to break the news to that I won't be here after 3pm. Oh well, I decided to save that info for now). So now 9:30 ish and I am headed to the office for full days work in 3 hrs. Shit did I mention I was already 45 min late due to the mornings activities. Hmmm.

Got to work and did not look back. Full day and little time. Everyone did pitch in. I think they thought I was fixing to spontaneously combust right in the hallway. So when I wanted to be out by 12 -1 pm it was more like 2pm. Oh did I mention that the last appointment was a new visit for a wonderfully sweet japanese couple. Well just so you know they spoke little english and now I know what the word Benadryl looks like written in Japanese. Do you? That's what I thought. So now at the end of the "work" day I am sprung tight (so to speak) and still have to tell labor patient that I am bailing out. Ayee!!!

So labor patient took it better than I thought. Husband ass. I owe the Wizard though. He ended up taking it all for me. Sorry Wizard. So now it is hmmmm, 3pm and I have to get catdog, get teeth brushed, and hit the dentist.

On time to dentist (way to go) for cleanings for me and catdog. Well I am fine, catdog has 4 cavities (shit) and we are told he just wouldn't do well in their office and we need pediatric dentist (shit, shit). Ok then. What time is it? 5pm. Well we are to meet the inlaws for Easter Dinner (new thing to keep everyone from having full day on Easter Sunday). Oh you ask, where are you going? Hmmmm....

To the Golden Corral (hope this doesn't offend or maybe I do. I am not a large buffet kinda girl. I like Outback, Olive Garden, a whole list of places with alcohol and where do we go... The Golden Corral...I have now changed to F**K, since I have used full quota of shit). So I pick up my gang at 100 mph and plowboy drives us toward the Golden Corral (yeehaw). So we are truly driving at outrageous speeds on curvy back roads which leads to catdog puking all over himself. Yes plowboy your wife and your son get car sick. (please remember for future reference). So I turn backwards to stop flow of puke and then I start getting sick. Again F bombs and shouts to roll down the window. What time is it? Is this really been my day? Maybe I should have the Japanese couple give me few choice words to learn for my sanity? (I think I will ask about that next visit)

Guess where I am now? Well in the parking lot of the Golden Corral wiping vomit off of catdog and the car. Then what's the first thing I see when we walk in (besides masses of people eating like no tomorrow) is the bathroom. So I could continue to clean vomit from catdogs pants. Please inlaws sit away from everyone. Me and catdog smell like puke. (Did I mention that days like this are why they invinted Xanax. Well I think it is. Why I don't have any, I don't know). So lovely meal (really, I guess) and then it hits. IBS or maybe overload of stress. I don't even know why I ate anything. I wanted to go shopping as a reward for eating at the Golden Corral. Sob.Sob. Now I am just like we have to leave before I shit on myself. Oh did I mention the car smells like vomit. Sob.Sob.

So had to stay focused all the way home or I would get to shit in the woods on the side of the road. At least it would have been dark. Is the day over yet? I really wish it was. So home in record time. No major accidents and pretty much I am ready for someone to shoot me.

I have decided to call it a day. A full day. PJs on and everyone ready for tomorrow. I am going to bed. So I can go back to work and start over again in the am. (I'm really not going to think about that right now). What I am going to think about is Jedi's prebirthday Margarrita's at 6pm. That will so make up for today (maybe).