Plowboy also has a Pirate Name

My pirate name is:

Black Davy Vane

Like anyone confronted with the harshness of robbery on the high seas, you can be pessimistic at times. You tend to blend into the background occaisionally, but that's okay, because it's much easier to sneak up on people and disembowel them that way. Arr!

Get your own pirate name from piratequiz.com.
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Pirate Name, Pirate Name, Heehee I have a Pirate Name

My pirate name is:

Captain Morgan Flint

Even though there's no legal rank on a pirate ship, everyone recognizes you're the one in charge. Like the rock flint, you're hard and sharp. But, also like flint, you're easily chipped, and sparky. Arr!

Get your own pirate name from piratequiz.com.
part of the fidius.org network

First star

Look here is Double D's twin. Just kidding. These are her boob twins not her personal twins. Please don't get confused.







Double D you know that is funny. Couldn't help myself.

Everyone is a target

So I have decided that I am going to pin each of you with your superstar twin. Oh, yes. I know you all are just dying to see who I will pick. Now remember it is not just looks but also personality (a few of you may be surprised).

To be fair (which I don't have to be) I will go first. My superstar twin is.....Kathleen Turner. Hmmm...Maybe because I love her in all those Romancing the Stone movies or maybe because she can be sexy but kick your ass all in quick move, or maybe because I love her in War of the Roses. Also, she kinda looks like me (or me like her) don't ya think?

This just ain't right?!?

Turkey Day

Check this out...A little turkey strut for you guys just in time for the big day. I know you all can't wait to spend time eating until you are sick and conversing with family that you are glad you only see once or twice a year. Don't lie to yourself. We are all in the same boat.

Nutcrackers not just for Christmas

Ahhh.. another Christmas theme. Might as well get ready for it, whether I want to or not. Anyway subject was brought up by Lily Pad or to be more specific her 10 yr old.

My version goes like this: Scoop is (which this girl deserves some kind of medal) that little Jr heard a boy and girl in the bathroom at school (yes folks kids are not safe anywhere). Jr says mom (lily pad) they were all over eachother. Mom to Jr: What do you mean by all over eachother. Jr: Well they were all hugged up and kissing and his hands were all over her butt. Mom:Hmmm.. Jr: Yea, and then the girl said (this is the good part) "If you don't quit, I am going to crack your balls"

This girl is a candidate for the LuLu book of answers for every situation. Oh, I don't have the book yet, just thought I may in the future. Bad thing is I am more of a spur of the moment type of answer person.

So goal is for each of you who read this to come up with some way to use the phrase "crack your balls" either at home, work, or as a comment. I have already used it several times. Go Figure.

Word Play

New filler blog is word of the day. Just a truly random word picked from my little faithful pocket dictionary with my eyes closed to boot.

The word is.... confusion (pinky swear that I did not pick this, it was truly an omen). So what do we do with it. I don't know I'm so filled with confusion over it. (heehee, I know that was not funny).

Anyway my father is actually the master of confusion, maybe that explains it. They say you don't fall far from the tree. I am the Jr master of confusion, compared to him. I'm just saying. (I love that. I may say that little line 100 times a day).

Like I said, I had to post something.

Shiver me Timbers it's a Christmas Tree

Arrghh!!! It is Christmas (or close enough) and I put up one tree so far. "The Tree" matter of fact. A black Christmas tree that is themed "Pirates celebrate Christmas Too". I found blown glass pirate ornaments and you might think it is crazy but it looks great. Can't wait for my peeps to see it Saturday night.

FYI: Since I couldn't do a Halloween party and was so jealous of other bloggers, I am doing my own party. Wish you all could come, but we will all drink one for you.

Blue Eye Shadow

Ok just a little disclaimer of I may not be a fashion icon, but I just don't think you are suppose to wear blue (full on blueist of the blue eye shadow) any more. Going to use the line "I'm just saying" that I think it really is only for some special occasion (which one I don't know). So with that all out in the open, it shouldn't be a shock that I recently saw blue eye shadow (with my friend double D) on one hot mamma. Or should I say black gay man.

Very amusing to me, because Little Richard (as I am calling him) really liked his eye shadow. Double D on the other hand really couldn't understand whether or not the people talking to him knew that Little Richard had on blue eye shadow today. I said yes double D they know. Double D just couldn't let it go. I think because she knew Little Richard was the one gay man who would not get along with her. I think cat fight is the term I could have used if they had been in each others paths any longer. I said to Double D, we must move on, before Little Richard is jealous of your boobs (which was really all he was lacking). So we moved on (thank goodness).

Double D still upset over this. Not because of him being gay (and obviously loving it), but because he did not flaunt all over her (as they usually do). So Double D will fully understand this picture. It is a poodle w/ blue eye shadow. Just a blast from the past (and a future blog recap of events that shape my life) of the Christmas Village find of the century.

Emotion

Many degrees of emotion (kinda like my many mental disorders that require margarita intervention). Definition is strong mental or instinctive feeling such as love or fear. I can't decide if it is better to have no emotion or too much. Other question is if you are mentally unhinged can you really be in a normal emotional state. Is there even a normal emotional state.

Hell this is just way to confusing. I am just going to go with the mental margarita or the real "fish bowl" size one (with lots of salt around the rim) and just take my chances on what emotional state I will be in. If I am lucky it will be the I don't give a damn or the it doesn't matter because I am passed out.

Oh, you all agree. Don't even deny it.

Theme songs

Forgot all about this song till I heard it on the radio and thought, "hey this is my theme song to plowboy". You think he will get it. Questionable. Anyway thought I would share since it sounds like a lot of us, which is perfectly fine with me.

Enjoy:

So funny!

Just can't help but like the chickens. But, I have been drinking a tiny bit.

New Contacts

Just changed my contacts for the month due to the fact that I started having blurry vision during the night, but damn they are itching like you know what. I can't wait to get done with this blog and take them out.

See how I suffer for you guys. Man. What dedication I must have. (Don't answer that)

Friendship

This is not going to be a mushy blog comment. Even though I have some of the best friends a girl could ask her. Hell they put up with me. That has to say something in itself. Anyway thought was what kind of friend am I to them.

Well would like to think I would be there for them and make all their worries go away. I think I would really do all of that, even if they didn't ask. Reason for this post is that I was watching a pretty good movie (only got to see part of it though) and woman was dying and movie involved memories of her life. One part is what I really remember. It was a relived moment of a wedding of her friend (that seemed to have major cold feet) and she was the maid of honor. And when she was with the bride who was fixing to leave for her honeymoon, she noticed how unsure she still was (even though wedding had already occured). So (everyone pay attention. This is the whole point of my ramblings) maid of honor says straight up: I'll take you away now, wherever you want to go. We will leave and not even look back.

I mean would I be brave enough and enough of a friend to offer (and possibly do it) to help my best friend leave her husband of less than 2 hrs. Am I? Well you know what, I am. I thought Hell Yea, I would sneak my friend out the window, down the back stairs, or disguised. It wouldn't matter what I had to do, I would do it.

So to all my friends, know that I will help you all at your next wedding by leaving your groom before the honeymoon. You will not even have to ask. Just know that if I think you are making a huge mistake, I will do all of above or even drug you if it saves the rest of your life.

Why I love being Passive Agressive

Don't want to confuse anyone, but (keep this quite) I am not really passive agressive. Only am when it really brings the point home. Which is why I love this T-shirt and will buy it one day just because of it's purpose.

Everyone has "spats" with their hubbies. In my case plowboy. Anyway I always kid him that they are puff the magic dragon arguments. You know, he thinks he is seeing puff but I don't. I even sang the song once while he was complaining about something I just wasn't getting. That was pretty effective (realize you guys are getting the condensed version, because I do love plowboy, but I also love this shirt). So T-shirt has meaning and purpose and is cute to boot. Lovin it.

Oh also put the song in case you didn't know what I was talking about. You can now imagine why a 36 yr old man would get further pissed off if his wife started to sing her version of this. It would work even better with my shirt. Man, I have to get that shirt.

Brilliance in the making

Well Catdog is my child. Should I be worried? Probably. Anyway we are on the way to school today when he says: Yea mom on Drake & Josh (show), Drake gets married in high school. Yea mom isn't that silly. He got married and didn't even finish college first. I say: That's exactly right you can't get married till your finished with college. Man that show is so silly. Catdog: Yea that's just crazy. (I will keep my fingers crossed!)

Then moment over. Some stuffed Ty Turkey can flying from the backseat. Catdog: Sorry mom just seeing if it could fly.

You know 1 out of 2 ain't bad.

New Playa in the Game

Recently had to get some poparatzi off my back by either shoving there camera down there lungs or simply giving them there own alias to blog by. Would have taken a poll of other options other than jail time, but since it is my blog I went ahead and was the good guy (man that is tuff for even me).
So new blogger (if they don't fall over dead at the computer due laughing their ass off) is Call Girl #7. Name was not so hard this time. I must be getting to that expert level. Anyway it popped into my head and boom onto the computer screen.
Have fun Call Girl #7.

Thoughts via Maxine

The Name Game

You guys are such babies. Nearly all of you said I hope I am not such and such.. So here is the Mermaid names. Which were generated by a website, not me. Mine are much cooler.

Jedi-Lady Bellasea (sorry but sounds like a great horse name), Double D-Lady Nymphana (so fitting), Tyrant-Seana Seapixi (you are no pixie), Princess - Waterfall (not bad), Big A-Scaley Bluefoam (sounds really gross), Ms. Thang- Zarina Oceandia (the African Princess), Lily Pad- Queen Beautinga (African Princess's mama), Salty Pink Pixie- Fishana (see next post)

Job Hazards

Well actually love my job. Am on top of the world, until 300+ pound pt who you know can't even wash that thing much less see it needs a vag check. Hmmm...Do you think I could be on that discovery channel guys "Dirty Jobs". Today would have been a top 5 show.

Narrowed down to One?

Well it is like this. I have a thought that I am going to discuss with the masses. Point is I probably could discuss a lot of thoughts that I have on a daily basis. Some have meaning while most don't. Regardless for your viewing pleasure I have narrowed it down to one thought to blog about today.

Still having Halloween flashbacks. Which are fine and still watching all those horror flicks on TV over the weekend got me to thinking. About what you might say, well about whether or not I would be one of the one's to survive. You watch all these crazy movies and think how stupid that person is. Or you may even be able to tell in the very beginning who is going to live and who is going to die some horrible death.

So would I survive. I would like to think so. Just because I am smart enough to not go to the attic because I hear a strange, unusual noise, and because I am smart enough not to go off in the unknown with some lunatic that obviously knows something I don't and because I am smart enough to talk someone else into checking those things out before me. Point is that if you are friends with me and we are lost, in trouble, or possibly fixing to die some horrid death, I would organize and be the leader but fully plan on letting you guys go first. Unless it was to freedom or safety. Then I would go first.

Is that horrid of me to think that way or just honest. Ah... forget it. I would sacrifice myself so you all could live and talk about me like the hero that I am. Or maybe not.

Not as smart as I thought?

Well last night was when all the goblins and ghostly beings came alive. So in true spirit (which I love Halloween) I wanted to spook it up a little bit. Here were the thoughts. I already had my Jack the Pumpkin tee on and low and behold I had makeup for sis's vampire costume right in front of me. What did I do? A Jack face of course. It ended up looking just a little freaky, instead of cutesy Jack. But it was an awesome skeleton face. The story continues further in that I sprayed my blonde hair with black and white hair spray. The effect was very awesome. Kids and Plowboy thought it looked pretty wicked.

So we trick or treat. Everyone says I looked great (of course). All kinds of people say wouldn't have recognized you, blah, blah, blah. So we hit one house that wasn't expecting us. We were all playing our rolls. Someone (who we won't name) was talking to said owner while we waited our turn. She then looks at us, does a double take (it is pitch black at this point, said owner has no idea) then says oh hi LuLu (she used real name). I was like crap. Owner then looks, does a double take and we are found out. I still can not believe she recognized me. FYI: I did not open my mouth. I am aware my voice is a give away. So regardless owner gave us great treats and kids got extra treat of gummy heart. Quite gross if you ask me. They loved it. Took some pics and moved on.

So that was my obviously I am going to have to work harder if I don't won't to be found out lesson. Not that having 2 kids (one who wears glasses, even as a vampire) along w/ plowboy (who did have a mask on) and me with a Jack shirt on would be give aways. Oh well back to the drawing board for next year.

I love Halloween. Too bad you are over. Good bye till next year. I will still wear my Jack shirt and think about you. (sniff, sniff).

Hope everyone had a great Halloween. Now it is 56 days till Christmas (or close enough). Thought you would all want to know.